Jul 20, 2011

Write on Wednesdays

Write On Wednesday
"Status anxiety"

If you know the security guard at a chemist your a druggy...

Blazor glanced up at the fluroscent light that was flickering in the alleyway before gently laying down the limp body on the pavement.  The faint blue light casting a gruesome scene through the shadows and making it seem as though there was a stranger at every corner, watching him, judging him.  Feeling the paranoia creeping up his spine he knelt by the body with his back to the brick grime covered wall, ready to sprint at any sign of movement.  He strained his hearing against the night but was met with a silence that seemed to crush him.

For a few minutes it was all he could do to look at the bruise growing from the inside of her forearm.  Everytime someone made that mark it was like creating a blackhole that sucked the life out of you; it never stopped.  Holding the arm he rubbed his thumb over the artery as if he could erase where the needle syringe had entered.

"Espy...you there?"  he muttered, sweeping the thin blonde hair away to reveal a small graze lining the girl's cheekbone.  Cursing under his breath Blazor had began to gingerly remove grains of dirt and asphalt when a sound coming from behind him just about sent him running until he realised it was his phone vibrating against the brickwork.  Staring at the number he felt his heart beating faster but for a different reason.

"Duke what the hell are you on!" Blazor hissed.  "Espy's in a real bad way and I'm thinking I'll need some legals-"

"Mate, this is not on, bring her back and I'll forgive you.  Otherwise things are gonna get twisted"

"Forgive me?!  You've bloody killed her!".  Blazor immediately stood up and began pacing; leapt up, his body launching into a furious pace, events were moving too fast for him to get a grip on.  Agitation itched at his skin and the need for urgency lingered on the edge of his thoughts.

"Don't freak you pussy she just shot above her weight, now bring my goddamn girlfriend back before I get real angry" Duke growled back.

This wasn't right; and without fully being aware of it Blazor was yelling at Duke to stay away from her and throwing his mobile into the darkness of the alley.  Kneeling beside Espy once more he placed two fingers against her neck and prayed for the first time in his life.  The swell of emotions choking him until a dull throb radiated beneath his fingertips, the smooth rhythym enveloping him until he could breathe again.  Cradling her small frame he rested his head on hers as the turmoil of fear was replaced with sheer exhaustion and closed his eyes, still praying she would open hers soon.

Jaq x


  1. Visiting from WoW. I think you captured so much of the atmosphere of a late night shooting up. I think you balanced your use of description and dialogue well. Comparing the bruise and the emotional blackhole created by drug use was a powerful link for me. A powerful piece.

  2. Very powerful I like the little added touches - praying for the first time in his life and the black hole bruise. I could really feel the paranoia. Great work with what could have been a difficult prompt.


  3. Totally gripping. I thought the scene revealed itself very well, and I could sense what kind of people Duke and Blazor are, already. The suspense I'm left with is not just wanting to know if Espy will be okay, but wanting to know what she means to each of these guys, and if she's in danger beyond this scene. Terrific writing!
    One tiny thing - there's a long run-on sentence in para 3. It has great action in it, but I had to read it a couple of times to take it all in. :)


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