Mar 7, 2012

Insecure Writers

As we create these words of discovery,
so too do we often devise our own defeat.


 


  
Anonymity is seen as a merciful retreat in most respects.  As a writer, which is the first time I have called myself such, I uphold this vague presence as a way of protecting my work from any preconceptions readers may hold.  There is no bias or scrutiny that is not solely based upon what I have to offer in what I publish.


As I have implied previously, I maintain this pursuit seperately to my actual occupation.  I feel it grants me space to explore as I must without fearing the opinions of those who are not faceless and are acquainted with my physical self.  And that is my first insecurity.  Those who know of my writings are a rare species indeed and I doubt they understand the immense trust I am placing in them to review this piece or that, or the gut wrenching vulnerability that consumes me.

I am trapped by the fear that someone will stand over me, eyes watching my efforts, and declare "they are just words, nothing special, stop pretending you can write".  So I remain caught up in leading this double life, though it suits me and what I seek.  It is my work-life-write balance.

Yet sometimes the darkness becomes too much in the shadows and I have no one to consult, no one to remind me that there is something worthwhile in the words I craft.  I find my projects lose their direction, they feel bland, and everything blurs until it seems I just write the same sentence every time...

So how do I continue?


from sjp.


3 comments:

  1. Jaq, I think most writers feel this way or something similar. Joining IWSG has been one of the best things for my own writing and confidence. I'll tell you a brief bit about me and my insecurity.

    I've been writing since grade school. A little here, there, took creative writing courses, published in several magazines, edited and published a gardening newsletter for five years, and did a very brief gardening advice column for a local newspaper. Am I a writer? Stephen King in his wonderful writing book called, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, says yes. I decided 3 years ago to take my writing to a new level, and began seeking publication without support from most of the people in my life. Most, mocked me. I had to make a decision, did I really want to pursue writing? And how bad did I want it? The answers were clearly, yes, and terribly bad!

    So, here I am. Still plugging away at the computer and writing to my own heart's content. I learned that I can't listen to the negative feedback from those who are living their stiff lives, clogged from their own creativity, and who want to judge me and my success or lack thereof. Life is too short to not do what really & truly makes us happy.

    Feel free to pop in on my blog anytime, I love connecting with other writers. Stick with the IWSG, they're a heck of an amazing group of supportive people.

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  2. You are not alone. I joined IWSG because I have similar doubts. I also on the Querytracker.net forums a lot because there's a great support group there for new writers and other people trying to get published.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you I am glad I came across this group and it is quite uplifting to discover such a support network filled with others who share the same interests and thoughts.

    ReplyDelete

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