May 3, 2012

Do You Hear?

The conditional peace offered by isolating silence,
often interupted by total paranoia.

I held my head in my hands with eyes clenched shut in an attempt to remove the exhaustive tasks that were all demanding attention and the feeling of hopelessness that was welling up inside.  The early afternoon sun bloomed in the clear sky, although the warmth had been a welcome respite from the rising chill of the coming winter, it now seemed a mocking contrast to my state of being overwhelmed.  Of course I could still not escape the constant nuances that invaded any peace and only served to sting with annoyance; that unyielding 'tick, tick, tick' of my watch as it voiced its concerns for time provoked me with its impatience.  Irritation building I lifted my weary head to glare at the offending object only to find it absent from sight.  Sweeping my tired eyes across the desk its location appeared undiscoverable.  In fact upon my gaze passing one corner of the room the intrusive noise stopped altogether.

Duly perplexed I felt the stirrings of my thoughts struggling to form a nexus for this strangeness, why did it desist?  A wry smirk suggested it was appropriately seeking refuge from my insurmountable wrath though logically this was not consistent with the usual behaviour of the common wristwatch.  Shifting in my chair to pull a wrap more closely around my exposed shoulders I was distracted by a swift commotion resonating from the opposite side of the house.

A discordant cacophony is a regular occurrence emitted by my colourful neighbours, though this afternoon brought an unexplainable chill.  An inhabitant of the hound variety had loosed its voice with a surprising sense of strangled terror, resonating deeply with my strained nerves.

Before my thoughts were able to adequately process this alarming development an accompanying racket ensued seemingly originating from the other side of my position.  This merely confirmed that there were at least several conspirators focusing their devilish intents upon my preciously frail mind.  Now entirely cloaked within the safety of my wrap I waited in horrified anticipation for the first sighting, all varying possibilities for defense overwhelmed by the instinctual desire to maintain such a stillness as to be undetectable.

The accustomed sparkling of a collective of keys as they slipped through the solid frame of our entrance was the lighting grace that salvaged me from the dreadfull abyss.  Shocked into movement desperate feet carried me through the halls into anothers comforting presence.

It is well known you cannot be harmed when you are not alone.

fight or flight,
Jaq xx

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