Jun 12, 2012


Five Sentence Fiction:

I feel lost without you.

I become drawn to your old shirts, faded like the musky scent that stains them, the one that makes me feel like crawling into a soft bed with a thick overflowing doona and resting in that comfortable calming warmth of anothers embrace.

The street outside is empty, occasionally taunting me with the sounds of others alighting from their journey to seek the solace of home, and still I wait for those footsteps to reach that door and fill these silent corridors with your audacious humour and liveliness.

It becomes painful to dwell, and my heart suffers in a strange breathless clutch as my chest collapses under the weight of your absence.

I am unfamiliar with the experiences of love, but know that I crave your presence with such a haunting need that I would trail after you endlessly just to share in your company.

chasing your movements,
Jaq xx

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  1. The voice in this is beautiful; plaintive and haunting. The sense of 'missing' someone came across so clearly it was almost painful. Excellent.

  2. The words "plaintive & haunting" came to mind the minute I began reading this piece!
    You can almost feel the breathlessness which results from the intense longing...
    Well done!

  3. Achingly beautiful...and so poetic. The picture matches the words perfectly as well. I love it.


  4. Poignant, poetic and beautiful words...you drew me right in. Lovely piece!

  5. A well composed piece. Poetic, haunting and beautiful. I hate to be a broken record but those three words came to mind before I even read the previous comments.

  6. Beautiful, poetic, lyrical. I feel her pain, her loneliness, her longing...and ache for her. The photo compliments the piece ...in addition the soft, blue background and wistful trees swaying in the breeze...as if to call out to him. It all fits. A spiritual piece. So perfect.

  7. Great emotion coming from this piece.

  8. Wow. Great work on this piece. It's so sad and somber. So much feeling pouring out of so few sentences. You captured the mood of the picture perfectly.

  9. Thanks to everyone for the wonderful feedback, after struggling to pinpoint an idea for this prompt I thought of the first line and it clicked. Drawing on the personal feeling of missing someone I then sought a fitting photo to provide the visual.

  10. The depth of emotions in this piece are piercing and lovely. That fourth sentence in particular flows so beautifully. Nicely done!!!

  11. Well done.
    I LOVE this picture.

    1. Noticed it during my many wanderings through pinterest and knew I would not find a better portrayal of my piece :)

  12. I love ur writing n so I have passed on a blog award to u! Check it out!

  13. Love that first sentence - perfect and to the point.


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