Five Sentence Fiction
Composure
Shivering from the bitter chill she pushed the dirty blonde
hair from her face and pressed against the grainy plaster of the nearest
building. Breathing the heavy air deeply
she receded into the tempest, focusing on the indomitable rainfall as it
collided against every surface, hurtling from the heavens to shatter on the fractured
concrete until a mounting torrent forged its escape along the road. Georgia lingered beneath the
evolving tributaries, sheer rainwater spiralling in rebellion as it cascaded
down the degenerating constructions, a revolution of ice against the
insurmountable ire smouldering in her heart.
Her gaze intently sought silhouettes beyond the obscuring
veil of the storm while she edged along the sloping laneway, oblivious to the
tumbling currents surging amidst her ankles or the violent shivers assailing
her, a tinge of indigo creeping into her lips.
The faint scent of peppermint oil jolted her senses, the unmistakable fragrance rendering her breathless, gripping the stolen revolver firmly she battled for composure
as the haunting figure emerged
from a shadowed doorway, already envisioning their blood joining the deluge when retribution was served.
Kill to Feel - Part One
From the Ashes - Part Three
Burn - Part Four
drown your vengeance,
Jaq xx
Playlist
Boy - Emma Louise
Dance Bear - Snakadaktal
I'm Into You - Chet Faker
Runaway - Mr Little Jeans
33 - Loon Lake
engage capslock
ReplyDeleteWHY CANT I FIND YOU ON TWITTER
disengage capslock
Jaq is not on Twitter. ::sad face::
DeleteAfraid not, while the future may hold such a possibility, for now I feel more comfortable with a single abode :)
DeleteBeautiful! Full of imagery, lyrical. I really enjoyed reading this!!!
ReplyDeleteThere is something about your stories that draws me right in! This was goooooood.....:)
ReplyDeleteYou've built the tension very nicely in this piece.
ReplyDelete"...already envisioning their blood joining the deluge when retribution was served." Powerful imagery. Good job.
You could probably edit the first paragraph of some of its adjectives. Your character is compelling enough to drive the story without quite so much description of the rain. I lost her a bit in there. Nice work though.
I understand, I tend to overly flesh out the scene, especially when Im unsure of where its headed, and there are so many directions to take this in.
DeleteI really enjoyed this. Your words are beautiful, your description amazing! Well done! xx
ReplyDeleteThis is magnificent. A brave soul, drowning in the elements even as her soul stands uneroded by circumstances. LOVE!!!
ReplyDeleteGorgeous imagery, I could feel the rain and hear it crashing in my ears! Would love to know what happens next!
ReplyDeleteYou need to be on Twitter so we can invite you to our Flash Me tribe!!!!
ReplyDeleteCrammed with images. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteRich with a multi-sensory appeal. Wonderful writing.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, description-rich writing. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteVivid imagery. Nice.
ReplyDeleteVery vivid.
ReplyDeleteI love the pics you find too