Insecure Writers Support Group
Some may have noticed some changes, most probably didn't, it's not anything that will change the course of history, but it's pretty big news in my little spheric soul.
Six months ago I was feeling pretty take-on-the-world, I saw an opportunity and thought why not? Six months ago I saw one of my favourite bands, wrote a review on the live gig, filled out a detailed form, and applied to be a contributor for the AU review that hosts music reviews among other content.
I know people say these things take time and they always take ages getting back to you, but after a couple of weeks I started doubting, and after a couple of months I thought meh, mustn't have been for me.
I was climbing hills in the Scottish highlands when I received the email accepting my application. I don't think I need to tell you I bounced around those hills with the energy of a toddler on red cordial.
It takes me ages to write a review because I fret about being new and having no experience and what if everyone disagrees with my opinion and I don't like music the right way and I don't know anything about anything and I rave about guitar riffs too much and and and.
But that die-hard-music-fan of me doesn't care and tells me to write it how I want. And the results feel pretty special.
I always said in a different life if money didn't matter, I would love to be involved in the music industry, promoting festivals or something seriously hands on. I don't know if this is the beginning or if I'll stick to a corporate job forever or if I'll write all those novels in my head. For now it's something amazingly awesome and I'm eternally stoked to have this chance.
And then I realised something would have to give, if I wanted to jump into this head first and really embrace the music scene I'd have to sacrifice something I'd worked hard on and had never been willing to change, and it's to do with that last image. If I told everyone about my reviews, a couple of clicks would take them to my twitter profile, and coincidently my little place here. Everyone I knew in the real world would know I write, like actual stories. They would be able to read it.
What I said almost three years ago is still true, I don't want my work being disadvantaged by preconceptions, I don't want people to look at me and look at my words and say "well of course you wrote that". I don't have to worry what people will think when I write, or if anyone takes me seriously, because nobody knows me. I hide alot of private things between these lines; they are mine and I share them with those who find it willingly, but I won't pretend everyone will understand. To me anonymity is freedom, and you guys have earned my identity more than people who know me have earned my words.
I can either blow my writing secret in the real world, or I could give up the other side of the coin. Everyone here would know who I am. It's the twitter tug of war, music or writing, I can't hide both sides of my face.
So, steal off into obscurity or is everyone intrigued?