May 7, 2014

Coming of Age

Insecure Writers Support Group

Some may have noticed some changes, most probably didn't, it's not anything that will change the course of history, but it's pretty big news in my little spheric soul.

Six months ago I was feeling pretty take-on-the-world, I saw an opportunity and thought why not?  Six months ago I saw one of my favourite bands, wrote a review on the live gig, filled out a detailed form, and applied to be a contributor for the AU review that hosts music reviews among other content.

I know people say these things take time and they always take ages getting back to you, but after a couple of weeks I started doubting, and after a couple of months I thought meh, mustn't have been for me.

I was climbing hills in the Scottish highlands when I received the email accepting my application.  I don't think I need to tell you I bounced around those hills with the energy of a toddler on red cordial.

If there's two things I'm insanely passionate about, it's writing and music.  I read the terms and conditions and it's like they were tailored for me, support local acts was number one on the agenda.  As everyone asks, it's an unpaid job, but I don't care, it lets me indulge in what I already adore and opens up amazing opportunities like interviewing the bands that got me into Australian music all those years ago.

It takes me ages to write a review because I fret about being new and having no experience and what if everyone disagrees with my opinion and I don't like music the right way and I don't know anything about anything and I rave about guitar riffs too much and and and.

But that die-hard-music-fan of me doesn't care and tells me to write it how I want.  And the results feel pretty special.

I always said in a different life if money didn't matter, I would love to be involved in the music industry, promoting festivals or something seriously hands on.  I don't know if this is the beginning or if I'll stick to a corporate job forever or if I'll write all those novels in my head.  For now it's something amazingly awesome and I'm eternally stoked to have this chance.

And then I realised something would have to give, if I wanted to jump into this head first and really embrace the music scene I'd have to sacrifice something I'd worked hard on and had never been willing to change, and it's to do with that last image.  If I told everyone about my reviews, a couple of clicks would take them to my twitter profile, and coincidently my little place here.  Everyone I knew in the real world would know I write, like actual stories.  They would be able to read it.

What I said almost three years ago is still true, I don't want my work being disadvantaged by preconceptions, I don't want people to look at me and look at my words and say "well of course you wrote that".  I don't have to worry what people will think when I write, or if anyone takes me seriously, because nobody knows me.  I hide alot of private things between these lines; they are mine and I share them with those who find it willingly, but I won't pretend everyone will understand.  To me anonymity is freedom, and you guys have earned my identity more than people who know me have earned my words.

I can either blow my writing secret in the real world, or I could give up the other side of the coin.  Everyone here would know who I am.  It's the twitter tug of war, music or writing, I can't hide both sides of my face.

So, steal off into obscurity or is everyone intrigued?

yours forever,
from sjp


  1. It does depend on what you want more: music or anonymity? Don't let your fear hold you back. Take that first step and see what it takes you. I've had instances where I had to push through something that terrified me, and it was well worth it in the end.

  2. I always have a hard time, when I've developed a good relationship with someone online and don't know their actual name. Yes, that frustrates me. *shrugs* I'm super stoked about your opportunity though. That's awesome! I hope it leads to some amazing things in the future and is as fulfilling and cheese on a stick! Mmm... Cheese.

  3. Wow, quite the dilemma. Great, great opportunity. Take the first step, see what happens. Yeah, anonymity goes away in such an instance, but it's hard -- no, impossible -- to be successful in anything creative and still keep our anonymity, I think.
    Silvia @

  4. I'm testing the waters so far, and it seems to be working well. I know hiding under anonymity has probably made it harder to connect with other writers, and while I have loved having my own little place to dive into imagination, connecting openly is the next logical step right? It's probably time to stop hovering at the edge of the writing network ;)

  5. Its of course whatever you're comfortable with, but I think jump right in. Stand behind what you write.
    Best of luck.

    Thanks for your support.

  6. That's what pen names are for. They give you a chance to be anonymous, but you can also be out there too. I think you should continue with your passions, whether it be music, writing, or both.

  7. First off, congratulations on the opportunity! Yay ;)
    Second, to me . . . You saying: "To me anonymity is freedom, and you guys have earned my identity more than people who know me have earned my words." is very true for me as well and I always worry about the links and what will get people I know in real life back to me. In the end, if I had to give up for my anonymity to follow my dreams, I would do it. Good luck deciding. :)

    S.K. Anthony

  8. Congrats on realising your dreams! Whether to remain anonymous or not is totally your call. I hope u keep writing though! Your flash fic is amazing.

  9. @S.K.Anthony that's my exact worry that I've laid out the breadcrumbs and people might actually follow them :S someone found my twitter tonight but were kind enough to respect my privacy and didn't pry further. Still I keep freaking out and taking my blog link off... then putting it back up... then taking it off again ;) I think it will take adjusting.

    @Sania haha don't worry I don't think anything will stop me writing :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...